Polyamory & Non-Monogamy Therapy in NYC
Virtual therapy throughout New York and New Jersey.
Polyamory & Non-Monogamy Therapy in NYC
Conflict that feels repetitive is rarely about the surface topic, it's a nervous system pattern playing out in real time. We slow that pattern down until you can see it clearly, and build new ways of reaching for each other instead of away.
As a holistic relationship specialist working through an attachment and emotionally focused lens, I help couples understand the patterns underneath the conflict not just what you're arguing about, but the attachment fears and nervous system responses driving how you reach for, or pull away from, each other.
I have extensive experience working with polyamorous and non-monogamous individuals, couples/pairs and polycules/constellations of multiple people. I understand the unique issues that can come up whether you’re in an established non-monogamous dynamic, or just starting to practice non-monogamy.
What To Expect From Polyamory Therapy in NYC
Polyamory therapy at Queens Integrative means building something outside of the mold. In sessions, you might explore communication dynamics, feelings of jealousy, emotional or sexual boundaries, scheduling challenges, or how new relationships are impacting existing ones. We can meet with you individually, as a couple, or as a larger relationship system, depending on what feels most supportive.
Therapy is collaborative and flexible: some clients come weekly, others biweekly.
Whether you’re coming in from Kips Bay, Astoria, or logging on from upstate, we’ll meet you where you are. Literally and emotionally.
Types Of Topics Covered:
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Create relationships that feel expansive, grounded, and deeply authentic or navigating a transition within a relationship structure.
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Learning to trust your body and nervous system when relationships feel uncertain and stope people-pleasing and over-accommodation in polyamory. How to have attachment and emotional safety in non-monogamous relationships.
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Balancing autonomy with intimacy. Communicating desires, limits, and difficult emotions with honesty.
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Communicating desires, limits, and coping with difficult emotions when it comes to the outside world. Understand how the outside world influences how you relate.
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Healing old relational wounds that show up across multiple relationships. Navigating jealousy without abandoning yourself.
Working with a therapist who understands and affirms polyamory means you can focus on addressing real relationship challenges without having to defend or explain your choice to be polyamorous. Many therapists, despite good intentions, may lack understanding of polyamorous relationships or unconsciously hold biases that can hinder therapeutic progress.
A polyamory-affirming therapist understands that:
Relationship challenges aren't inherently caused by being polyamorous
Different relationship structures can be equally valid and healthy
Polyamory often requires unique communication and emotional skills
Societal stigma can impact polyamorous relationships and individuals
Having this foundation of understanding allows you to explore deeper aspects of your relationships, process complex emotions, and develop skills specific to maintaining healthy polyamorous connections. Therapy can help you distinguish between challenges that are inherent to any relationship and those that are specific to polyamorous dynamics.
Why is it helpful to talk to a therapist that understands polyamory?
Jem Wong, LMFT
You deserve to get the help you need and to invest in yourself and your relationships. The therapy relationship is such an important part of the work; it's important to find the right fit. If you're curious, please reach out. We'll schedule a free consult to determine whether we're a good fit, and if not, I'll try to point you in the right direction.
what working with me could look like in practice:
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Understand different sides of you. Like the part that’s always on high alert, or the part that tells you to dissociate. The work isn't about eliminating any of these parts, but getting to know them with curiosity and compassion, so your core Self can lead instead of any one part running the show alone.
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Trauma-focused therapy that identifies your body’s responses and may involve guided eye movements. We’ll notice your breathing, heart rate, and any areas of tension, and work to bring softness, curiosity, and understanding for your physical being. Over time, this can reduce the emotional intensity of the memory, allowing it to become something the person can remember without being retraumatized by it.
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Attachment-based approach that helps couples identify the negative cycle they keep getting pulled into — one person reaching, the other withdrawing — and understand the deeper attachment fears driving it. Rather than focusing on the surface argument, EFT works to access and reshape the underlying emotions, so partners can respond to what's actually happening between them and build a more secure, trusting bond.
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Practical tools for managing intense emotion, tolerating distress without making it worse, and reducing anxiety in relationships and social situations.
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Shifts the goal from eliminating anxiety to building a life that isn’t organized around avoiding it. Focuses on values, present-moment awareness, and learning to hold difficult thoughts without being controlled by them.